We have all seen bumper stickers or license plates like this one proclaiming love for a dog, a city, a favorite sports team, etc. But what does it mean when to say I love my dog, or I love chocolate, or I love my car as opposed to I love my grandchildren, I love my friends, I love God? The slogan of a regional grocery store chain is “Love Fresh. Love Local. Love Food.” What does the word “love” mean? Or in the title of a song made popular by Tina Turner—“What’s love got to do with it?”
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”— John 15:12.
It seems to me that Jesus’ commandment to “love one another” is the very foundation of faithful living. In these words from Jesus’ Farewell Discourse (Jn 13:31-17:26) in today’s Gospel passage, God’s love for us is in turn to be embodied through love for one another. “As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you; abide in my love” (Jn 15:9). Moreover, just as Jesus has been faithful in keeping the Father’s commandments, his followers are to do likewise (v. 10). Such obedience, as a sign of genuine love, is also a source of great joy which leads to a sense of purpose, wholeness and fulfillment.
Furthermore this love is what sets Jesus’ followers apart: “I give you a new commandment, that you love one another . . . By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (Jn 13:45). The Gospel of Matthew reminds us: Not only are we to love our neighbor, we are to “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Mt. 5:44). Ouch! It is one thing to love those who love us, but quite another to love those who do not return that love. Now what does the word “love” mean?
There is an old Irish saying that goes like this:
May those who love me, love me.
And those who do not love me,
May God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn’t turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles
So I’ll know them by their limping.
In the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible, the word love appears 317 times in the Hebrew Scriptures and 221 in the New Testament. Love has many layers of meaning, but the English language has just one word for love; whereas Greek, the language of the New Testament, has several words to distinguish various aspects of love. In today’s passage the Greek word agapao is used which conveys a sense of good will and benevolence. According to 13th century theologian Thomas Aquinas, love is “to will the good of another.” Probably the most familiar definition of love is found in chapter 13 of 1st Corinthians: love is the greatest of all gifts, and without love we are nothing.
However, the love called for by Jesus is more than a Hallmark greeting card sentiment. This love is expressed through actions—not just words or feelings —and may ultimately include self-sacrifice as in laying down one’s life for one’s friends (v. 13).
In Wishful Thinking: A Theological ABC (New York: Harper and Row Publishers, 1973) Frederick Buechner explains that in the Christian sense love is not primarily an emotion, but an act of the will— of being willing to work for the well-being of others even if it means sacrificing our own well-being to that end. This is why we can love our neighbors without necessarily liking them. “This does not mean that liking may not be a part of loving, only that it doesn’t have to be. Sometimes liking follows on the heels of loving. It is hard to work for somebody’s well-being very long without coming in the end to rather like them too.”
This is truly a hard saying of Jesus, and we have not done a very good job of living into this command to love one another. So again, what does the word “love” actually mean?
“Love is most nearly itself when here and now cease to matter”—T.S. Elliot.
Writing in the Way to Love (New York: Doubleday, 1992) Anthony De Mello notes that although we search for love to provide meaning in our lives, we really don’t understand what love is. Often equated with good feelings toward others, benevolence, nonviolence or service, love is much more. “Love springs from awareness”—to truly see and accept others as they really are and not the idea that one has formed of another. Along with the awareness of others is a strongly developed sense of self-awareness —the ability to see ourselves without the coercive nature of our needs, desire, prejudices and projections. This is not an easy task. “The most painful act the human can perform is the act of seeing. It is in the act of seeing that love is born.”
“Love is the only spiritual power that can overcome the self-centeredness that is inherit in being alive. Love is the thing that makes life possible, or indeed, tolerable.”— Arnold Joseph Toynbee.
Love is complicated and is ultimately a mystery; however, I do believe in the transforming power of love. Whether in the giving or receiving of love, we are changed. Just think what the world would be like if we truly followed the imperative to love one another! Nonetheless, no matter how we define the word love, what is most important is that we DO something—love is an active verb. That’s what the word “love” means.
Steven Charleston in Spirit Wheel: Meditations From an Indigenous Elder (Minneapolis: Broadleaf Books, 2023) writes about the Great Mystery of his ancestors —“a vast unseen consciousness, both wise and compassionate, that has created all there is and watches over that creation with unconditional love.” In the great circle of existence “all of creation, people and animals, animate and inanimate, rocks and trees, the whole universe” are included. This is one way to express what love means—to honor and respect the interconnectedness of all creation. How do we put that on a bumper sticker?
The 14th-century mystic Julian of Norwich proclaimed: “Know it well, Love is its meaning. Who reveals this to you? Love. What does he reveal? Love. Why? For Love. Remain in this and you will know more of the same.”
Readings for Easter 6-B: Acts 10:44-48; Psalm 98; 1 John 5:1-6; John 15:9-17
This reflection is adapted from Circle of Days: A Church Year Primer – Year B by Paula Franck and Isabel Anders available in print and ebook format from Amazon.com.